discovery

I got an incredible amount of studying done this morning so treated myself to processing some of the photos I've had sitting waiting for so long. The results of my afternoon's efforts are here. There are a couple of shots I really like. Xana's first coach back at the community centre was Tricia who is now a full grown adult and performer with Cirque de Soleil. What a great artist and what a wonderful person. I'm glad she's getting some recognition.

What I learned today was how important it is to spend some time doing the stuff that recharges me. Since dancing continues to be beyond my organizational skills playing with photos will have to fill the void again. Two hours of processing and I feel like a human again. My wrists are killing me from the typing but I have produced something worthwhile, that means more than a grade on a paper. These are real people, not just essays in books.

I'm glad I did it, even if it means my list of chores is still long.

brainless

Tonight I'm frustrated. I've gone and taken on too many things again. I've got people at school who want me to do stuff. I have ballet stuff that needs to get done. An exam in December? Hah. I can barely reach my toes and for more reasons than one. The garden needs attention, so does the house, my own body, the list is endless. I remember when I used to read to my daughter all day long.

Tonight I hate my wireless keyboard and mouse. For over a week (maybe 3?) I've had intermittent functioning. Batteries are brand new so it's not that. I'll be typing along at lightening speed and I'll look at what I've written only to see that the cursor froze half a line ago. Clicking around and hitting random keys usually brings it back but what a waste of time. I can't find anything in the manual to explain what's happening and I'm just about ready to get rid of it and go back to my old one with the keys that don't bounce. At least it types.

My wrists hurt. It started Thursday while I was marking computer assignments. Eighty-five 3 page papers using the features of MS Word. I can't believe how many failed the assignment. I should be finalizing the spreadsheet that maps out all the marks but pffff. I'm not really caring right now.

Maybe I should be finalizing the participation marks for the other course I'm TAing. They have to be in the day after tomorrow. /sigh/. I'm so tired of all of this.

I'm getting a lot of pressure to get my website up. People have started asking me about it: when I'm going to get some content on it for example. I wrote about 2000 words tonight for 5 different papers - all could go on my website. But I'm held back by multiple blocks (css, time, knowledge, other responsibilities) and so I do nothing.

I thought about putting up wordpress over there and just putting up the papers as blog entries but pffff again. The Famous 5 minute Install is not 5 minutes for me. They don't include in that 5 minutes all the further research required to find out what they're talking about. I have to remember that I'm not stupid and I can figure stuff out eventually, but when I have to stop to keep looking stuff up before I can proceed it gets frustrating. I'll let it wait some more. I try to tell mysel I don't care.

I'm going camping in a couple more days. I've got a long list in text pad of all the things I have to pack and remember to bring. I'm looking forward to it -sort of. I'm not sure how I can leave everything here behind (including my cats who no one's available to feed). I'm a bit stressed about how the kids are going to behave. I've accepted that they will be beastly, but it's not making it any easier. I'm going to pack a lot of bandaids. I'm going to try not to yell. I'm hoping that they'll enjoy themselves so much that they'll forget to fight. I suppose that's not very realistic.

I suppose the thing to do is start with one thing and go from there. I guess the thing to start with is the next paper that's due. Blech. I'm burning out again. Tonight my dream is to work on the line, brainless. seems such a relaxing contast to this exhaustion and endless list of chores.

Doing it

It's actually working. This week, in between working on the cyberethics paper due in ummmm 11 hours, I've been working on the ddr extreme. That guy was right. The key is working with the music and letting the arrows just 'guide' your feet. I've cleared a bunch of the songs on heavy - when last time I tried I coudn't even get through standard. Okay, so I'm doing the simpler songs, with strong and steady rhythms, but still - I feel like I've crossed into a new dimension of ddr play. I'm so proud of myself.