breathing time

It's time to breathe. I've had a wicked and crazy semester. Now it's time to apply for a scholarship for next year, file my taxes (yes, late I know. I make so little money it really shouldn't matter) and clean the house and do all that stuff that's been waiting patiently in my virtual inbox.

This weeend at the frg was eye opening. I sat around listening to people present papers on research that is interesting but doesn't really seem to get anywhere. I didn't go to the ones on Buffy as a 21st century heroine (there were two) or the use of some feminist theory (I forget which one) in the novel Shirley. The closing remarks discussed the traditional relationship between Women's Studies and Activism and this is what speaks to me. I don't really see where the research is going to really make a concrete difference in practical life. It seems to be that it contributes to that elitist division between ivory tower academia and The Real World. Saturday's keynote speaker, Dr. Julie Fraser talked about how different it is to work in a university setting compared to actually being employed in public health. People do not have the same familiarity (or outrage) with issues of diversity and discrimination. The problems people face are so different: real people with real problems - food, shelter, disease, trauma. Reading about it and studying it needs to lead to concrete practice or change in practice.

So now I'm torn again. Is academia really a good way to do what I want to do? Over the course of listening to all these papers this weekend I kept a running list in my head of all the research I want to do. The conference was inspirational. Talking to the woman who's looking at impact of plastic surgery on a woman's life had not realized that sometimes breast surgery prevents or inhibits milk production which in turn affects a newborn. To me it was a 'hello' moment: I realized that standpoint theory is correct - it's important to look at an issue from multiple perspectives to really explore it fully.

The paper about childbirth practices and a later discussion with someone who's considering midwifery school showed me that my 11+ years dealing with the politics of birthing gives me a unique perspective. I've experienced midwifery care both before and after Ontario legislation and to me the negative impact is clearly visible. There was no mention of this but when I raised it I could see the looks of "I never thought of that" on many faces.

This is stuff that I could do. But as an undergraduate? Can this be done outside the university? Could I be involved in another way and make money (since I know there's no money in women's studies anyway)?

I won't give up plans for the master's yet since I have a good chance of getting a scholarship. Things like that only present themselves immediately upon graduation. If I wait it will be gone.

I think I'm going to record that list of research topics. Maybe I'll find a way to combine it with a get rich scheme someday.