Frustration

Thinking last night about the whole "I need to be done school" thing has helped me get some perspective. Part of me says I won't work this hard forever. Who knows though, maybe I will. Am I the sort of person who can't give 75%? Do I really need to work work work all the time? I am working myself silly trying to get top marks without letting go of any of my other projects (ballet, art, friendships more or less). Most of these other things are seriously suffering but I'm holding on to them nonetheless. If I just take my time, use the full four years, I can take partial course loads everytime rather than full or even the overloads I was considering, I can set up whatever business I'm going to do post-graduation...I can live on the scholarships and grants and stretch that out as long as possible. In another two years the oldest will be 12, the youngest 6...I'm not sure why I'm in such a rush anyway.

What's pushed this today was realizing that two of the courses I wanted to take this summer (Advanced web design and Women and Friendship) not only conflict with each other but conflict with E's (and soon to be A's) swimming lessons. /sigh/ This leaves me with Cyberethics and Gender and Moral Choice. Maybe I can pick up that other ws course from York...dunno. So instead of getting five courses for the summer I'm having a hard time getting three. Is it really worth all this stress? There's a strong chance that the MLIT won't take me without the honours degree anyway (not that I see a way around the logistics of that) so I should just try and sit back and relax and enjoy the ride while I can.

I need to keep telling myself there's no rush. And if there is a rush I need to figure out why.